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Anal Sex 101: What You Need to Know
Working in the "adult industry", I am often asked for advice from customers, friends, and even family (yes, its true!) about having anal sex for the first time. I would have to say, I am confronted with a mixture of emotions; from yes, I wanna do this (just tell me what I need to know!)! To, I am totally packing my pants! So, in recognition of all you men, and women, out there who have the same queries and concerns, this blog is dedicated to you.
Anal sex is not a new fad; people have been engaging in this activity long before we were born. Heck, long before our parents, parents, parents, parents, parents, parents were born! Its also not a gay thing either; whatever your sexuality, anal sex can have a place in your sex life, if you want it to. My point is, there is still often a taboo, or a stigma associated with this type of sexual activity, and in some cases, it is still to this very day legally forbidden to engage in anal sex in some countries.
So, before you embark down this road, if you are impacted by these stereotypes or prejudices, you may wish to consider your own inner feelings towards anal sex, and make sure you enter into this activity of your own free will, and in the right frame of mind.
Once you have made the decision to proceed, and have committed yourself to giving it a go, you can relax and know there are steps you can take, and products available to help make it enjoyable. With adequate preparation, a commitment to mutual respect between lovers; including a common understanding about expectations and boundaries, and with good hygiene, you are well on your way to becoming an anal enthusiast!
This blog is dedicated to the most important element to keeping the experience both comfortable, and safe: Good Hygiene.
Tip 1 – Get Clean
There is no such thing as being too over-prepared when it comes to anal sex. Your mind is no doubt painting a picture about the potential mess, and accidents! I recommend being prepared as, although it's rare; sometimes anal sex can get a bit messy. At the same time, both parties should not get embarrassed about the prospects of a bit of mess; if its a big deal, anal sex should probably be avoided! Mess can be a natural consequence of this activity, and that's okay. You will be more relaxed knowing you are as prepared as you can be, in terms of hygiene, to do your best to avoid these types of accidents. Being relaxed, and as clean as you can be, is paramount to having a pleasant experience.
You do not need to purchase fancy equipment to get clean. Its common to use water and clean yourself in the shower as best as you can, with a warm, soapy finger. Or, some people prefer to use an anal douche the day before, and no less than 1 - 2 hours before engaging in activities involving anal penetration. Whether you "clean yourself", or use an anal douche, is completely a matter of personal choice, and both are effective. In fact, some kinky people love to use an anal douche with their lover!
To use the douche, first you must fill the water reservoir with warm water. This is important as cold water may cause cramping, and well, its obvious that hot water will not only hurt, it may cause internal tissue damage. If you have filtered water available, this can be used; otherwise drinkable tap water is suitable.
Then, lubricate the douche nozzle with a good anal lubricant before insertion, and then empty the bottle contents into the anal cavity by squeezing the bulb for approximately 10-20 seconds, and then release. Importantly, there is no need to completely fill up the anal cavity with water. As a rule of thumb, you are only aiming to clean the first 5-8cms, so its important to note that overfilling the anal cavity will only serve to make things messier, and may potentially cause digestion issues.
Now, things will get messy. What goes up, must come down, and the contents of your lower colon will be released with the water that flushes out of your body. You may wish to use the douche in the shower, or over the toilet. You may either knee, stand, sit, or lie on your side. Find which position works best for you.
It is vital you allow yourself, at a minimum, several hours to ensure any trapped water and air comes out, before you engage in anal play!
Tip 2 – Put down a sheet or towel
For peace of mind, and to help you relax into the action, you can lay a sheet, or a towel across the bed or chosen area before you engage in anal activities. Not only does this protect in case of accidents, or squirting, which may happen with all the fun and heightened senses!
Tip 3 – No double dipping
E. Coli is a bacterial that lives naturally in the gut and resides in the anal cavity. If bacteria travels to the urethra and works its way into your system, it can cause Candida (thrush) and Urinary Tract Infections, in particular, in the bladder and kidneys. This bacteria transfer is more common in women, because women have a shorter Urethra than men, hence why double dipping is never recommended, to prevent the risk of bacterial infections. Hate to be a party pooper, but it really isn't worth the risk. You may wish to invest in an anti-bacterial lubricant when engaging in anal play; however the best recommendation is that all participants wash themselves after anal sex, before they get back into the vaginal action!
Tip 4 – Try gloves
Using gloves is a great idea during anal play. When used with ample lubricant, not only are they inexpensive to buy, gloves can make anal play feel more pleasant, can minimise cuts from nails, and can give peace of mind (especially for first timers) of cleanliness due to no skin contact. The latex feel of the gloves can actually be arousing, and are commonly used in anal play, as a foreplay activity, even for more experienced anal enthusiasts. If you are allergic to latex, there are non-latex alternatives available! Gloves also help to prevent the transfer of bacteria when switching from anal to vagina play; simply remove the gloves and your ready to make the switch!
Tip 5 – Keep calm, clean up, and continue on!
If there is an accident (it can happen to us all!), relax and reassure one another that its okay, don’t be judgmental and clean up promptly. Have a shower to make yourself feel clean again, and restart the activities; consider playing a kinky sex game, playing with some sex toys, or changing into some new lingerie to reignite the passion and to help you get back into the action.
The next phase...
Now that you have been introduced officially into anal sex, and you feel you are ready and willing to take things to the next level, you may want to experiment with anal sex toys; such as butt plugs and anal beads. Bondage Kits are really popular at the moment, and are a great way to experiment with restraint and control games, and sex toys, including anal toys (how our love lives have improved dramatically since Fifty Shades of Grey was released!!!). Remember, to use ample lubricant, and don't be afraid to let your imagination take you to new places of intimacy, and sexual exploration.
Have fun, and enjoy the wonderful sensations that anal sex has to offer!